Dear all...

Beware long post!

Thanks for the phone calls and the support messages.. they meant a lot. I think I was just going through a rough patch.. don't be alarmed. I was always in two minds about this blog, on one hand I wanted a space where I could privately vent and be emotional on the other hand it was a tool to keep you guys in better touch with what was going on. At times I feel I have to censor what I write but then again I don't think I should because this is the point of having a blog.

The past few days have been pretty relaxing - I've been trying to catch up on some sorely missed sleep during the semester. I basically stayed in bed all day yesterday reading the Da Vinci Code. Was an interesting book and definately not one Id usually pick up and read - but after all the hype I felt I should go and give it a shot... definately enjoyable.

Today I caught up with an very old and very dear friend. Was good to see her since she has gone over seas an its only every so often that we get to see her... Things haven't changed much have they?? She's pretty much the same - maybe a little more confedent and I think she's definately grown as a person she has become more content in her own skin which is such a fabulous sign.

One thing I have learnt from her return and other chats with old and dear friends is that I've become a little workaholic.. not the best thing and prehaps the worst thing that stems from that is my isolation of friends. Yeah people think I'm popular at uni... but I don't think I am.. people have to actually like me and want to spend time with me, not just know me... And from this I think I've lost one of my best friends.... Someone who is very very special to me, she was the one person that fully kept me going all through the hard years and I've become so out of touch, admittely this is partially because I didn't thinks she cared but I think it stems from my own selfishness. I'm sorry and I really miss her. When I was thinking of the hard times and the people who understood best what I was going through she was the first person that came to mind and its so sad that it has generated to this. If you are reading this you have no idea how much I still need you and I miss you.

Just for you.. and You do know who you are
I would like to visit you for a while
Get away and out of this city
Maybe I shouldn't have called but
Someone had to be the first to break
We can go sit on your back porch
Relax
Talk about anything
It don't matter
I'll be courageous if you can pretend
That you've forgiven me

Because I don't know you anymore
I don't recognise this place
The picture frames have changed
And so has your name
We don't talk much anymore
We keep running from the pain
But what I wouldn't give to see your face again

~Savage Garden - I don't know you anymore~

On my final note and I warned you this was long... but I'll make this as brief as possible... COME ON ROOS!!! Aussie all the way to glory!!! The world cup is live and kicking and although yesterday's match didnt go the way I planned or way it should have gone - Boys you did us proud!! I'm so proud to back such a classy team that played so well against the present world champions, you lifted and you played so well... Congrats on what you have achieved and bring on Croatia!!!

That's it from me.. again sorry so long
Yours,
Puffaloonie

Sunny came home to her favorite room
Sunny sat down in the kitchen
She opened a book and a box of tools
Sunny came home with a mission

She says days go by I'm hypnotized
I'm walking on a wire
I close my eyes and fly out of my mind
Into the fire

Light the sky and hold on tight
The world is burning down
She's out there on her own and she's alright
Sunny came home
~Shawn Colvin - Sunny Came Home~

Dear all
There are times in life when you think everything is going well as per the previous post only to have it all come crashing down, realising that maybe your happiness was only to be short lived. You forget at times the other worries you have in life and the possible heartache and pain that others go through or you might be going to go through in the next five minuites. I don't really wanna talk about it but from when I posted that last post till now things have changed and not for the better... I want to talk to someone about it only I don't think anyone would understand or care. You ask me what about my close friends? but even then they wouldn't understand whats going on... each of our lives are so different, we all expect different things and do different things and for me no one ever seems to know why I do things the way I do or why I react a certain way.

Stuff just keeps happening where the same things are brought up and the cycle continues and you just go around and around getting more angry and more frustrated - the worst thing is you physically cannot do anything about it.

I'm having a sulk and a rant and I don't want you asking me whats wrong or saying that you will understand because you wont.

yours,
Puffaloonie

Sarah Mclachlan's Full of grace aptly describes how I fee.. pulled down by the undertow...

The winter here’s cold, and bitter
It’s chilled us to the bone
We haven’t seen the sun for weeks
To long too far from home
I feel just like I’m sinking
And I claw for solid ground
I’m pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
Oh darkness I feel like letting go
If all of the strength and all of the courage
Come and lift me from this place
I know I could love you much better than this
Full of grace
Full of grace
My love
So it’s better this way, I said
Having seen this place before
Where everything we said and did
Hurts us all the more
Its just that we stayed, too long
In the same old sickly skin
I’m pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
Oh darkness I feel like letting go
If all of the strength
And all of the courage
Come and lift me from this place
I know I could love you much better than this
Full of grace

Dear all,

After yesterday and my horrid exam (yes it was very very very bad - I might actually fail something :S might be a first but it could actually fail - not looking forward to getting that mark back - prehaps the worst thing about it all is the amount of work I actually did place on studying for that unit. I worked so hard and yet there are no results to show how hard I've actually worked. I went to all the lectures, did all the reading and tute work and I still cant do it. Maybe Finance isn't for me ?? which makes me wonder what do I do considering I'm majoring in it:S) Anyways as I was saying after yesterday I was in serious need of retail therapy. So I went shopping today for the whole day. From 9 onwards  I was at the shops. Got some makeup, a dress and a top... Whoever says shopping doesn't make you feel better lies!!. There was this really pretty dress in Myer an I'm very tempted to go back and buy it - they didn't have my size so I'll try the city and well if they don't have it then, then I guess it just wasn't meant to be.

So whilst we were at the shops mum and I decided to go have a look at woolies...it was around 4 ish so shops were going to close pretty soon, it was funny to see all the people waiting around to get the baked goods for a cheaper price, they just waited and waited and waited... vultures.. mind you if its that late and the shops will be closed tomorrow and well they are there then why pay full price right?? Anyways who has heard of broccoflower?? Its the crossbreed between broccoli and cauliflowers - like a green cauliflower... anyways I wasn't sure if what we had picked up was the right thing - mum and me decided we wanted to try it out - so she made me walk around to try and find one of the shop assistants and ask them if it was a broccoflower - the dude I asked was so amused at me asking - we both ended up cracking up and he I think got a little embarrased. Anwyays so we though right two brocoflowers and then we walked past a funky looking one. Instead of looking like a normal cauliflower only green this one had peaks - (I'll take pics and post them up) but I was like look its a malfunctioned malformed brocoflower, and this lady proceeded to give me a weird look. Mum asked me to go ask someone to find out if its supposed to have the lil peaks and if it really is malfunctioned and i called out 'I'm sick of asking people about these weird veggies people are giving me weird looks'. My mum just smiled and walked away and this lady gave me the weirdest look after looking at this spiky green cauliflower in my hand. SO anyways I asked the same guy and by this time I had totally lost it. Couldn't sting a sentence together without craking myself up laughing and he was like err I dont know go ask Gary. Which was lucky because, Gary came straight up to us and was like yeah its  a different variety, not malfunctioned or anything....

That was my amusement for the day... made what would have been a rather unsuccessful day at the shops into something super funny plus my mind was off the horrid exam...

So I get home and after helping prep for dinner I decide to have half a glass of wine... BIG MISTAKE.. after the wine I was fully fluster into a bright shade of pink (damned thos asian genes that mean I dont have the enzyme to break down alcohol properly) and after about 15 mins I was passed out on the couch sleeping... So I kinda missed dinner :(....

That's my day for you all... not super eventful but not bad either, I guess thats it from me :P

Yours
Puffaloonie

PS.. for those of you who know my actual name... I'd prefer if we didn't use it on the website :P cheers

When I wake up in the morning, love
And the sunlight hurts my eyes
And something without warning, love
Bears heavy on my mind
Then I look at you
And the world's alright with me
Just one look at you
And I know it's gonna be
A lovely day ...
lovely day, lovely day, lovely day ...
... lovely day, lovely day, lovely day ...
When the day that lies ahead of me
Seems impossible to face
When someone else instead of me
Always seems to know the way

~Al Green - Lovely day~

Dear all,

AM STRESSED LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW - have officially decided if life as a Law/Comm student doesn't work out I'm becomig a music DJ

Man I love music but I haven't got any playing right now + my knowlege of music trivia and facts is pretty good I'd have to say .. I LOVE IT!!

SIGH wish me luck for tomorrow - am really really gonna need it. Seems a whole day's worth of study isn;t really gonna help....

BAH!!!
Puffaloonie :S

--This is a request, Mr. Radio Man
Just one desire from a Hip-hop fan
Hey, DJ!
--You on the line, girl
--Hey, DJ!
--The request line, girl
--Play a record by my favorite band
--I like to hear my favorite song on the radio

~ Macy Gray ft Black Eye Peas - Hey DJ~

Dear all,

Yet another day of almost absolute bordom - haha well not really, but it wasnt interesting. Spent most of the day couped up in my study going over my finance notes and guess what folks I still know nothing... Tomorrow is going to kill me - Least I know by this time tomorrow it will all be over.

I had an incident with the bathroom door last night, for some strange reason it was closed and when you are still up at 3 and had spent the last few hours going over your books you don't really pay attention to what's in front of you and bam straight into the door I went. Now this wouldn't have been half as painful had I used my arms to navigate or had turned on the lights - but I assumed the door to be open. I think I woke the rest of the house with my little run in. Sigh - it hasn't been a good couple of days.

This morning I woke up without realising the house was empty - I don't think I would have woken if not for the natural alarm clock that is the sun that burns my face every time I stay in bed till 9 am. Lucky for me as I needed to do lots of study!!

I had a read over some stuff I wrote when I was in year 12 - so many things happened in the space of two months - it was hectic and stressful - I'm still in amazement of how I pulled through. I had so much pressure on myself to do well and now? Its still the same - I guess I have this belief that if I'm going to do something I might as well do it good. I think I'm a bit of a work-a-holic, which isn't exactly the best thing to be but hey... I kinda got emotional reading what I wrote - Brough back memories and feelings, I was lucky enough to have some really special people in my life back then who managed to keep me sane. I don't quite know if I had thanked them but for the record - You mean so much more to me than you could possibly know - thank you for holding me, supporting me and for giving me courage and strenght to face each day - thanks for putting up with my crap and showing me that there was some good and that there was more to life than what I though.

This is supposed to be a rather short post as I have to get back to my exam study... but just quickly some admin points:
- at the bottom of this page is a place where you can place your email address to see when I post - like a notiication
- please leave a comment by clicking on the comment bottom at the bottom of each entry
- please leave a tag so I know you have visited and if you have a blog of your own it allows me to go and say hi there.

Take care and good luck for exams all of you who havent yet completed them
Yours
Puffaloonie :D

if you want me, you can find me
left of the center off of the strip
in the outskirts,in the fringers
in the corner out of the grip
when they ask me "what are you looking at?"
i always answer "nothing much"
i think they know that, i'm looking at them
i think they think, i must be out of touch
but i'm only,in the outskirts
and in the fringers, on the edge
and off the avenue,and if you want me
you can find me, left of the center
wondering about you
i think that somehow
somewhere inside of us, we must bw similar
if not the same, so i continue
to be wanting you, left of the center agains the train

~ Susan Vega - left of center~

Dear all,

No I am not a rampet drunkard, but red red wine seems to be the most appealing song at the moment. Its been a pretty full on day, with an exam this morning and a night full of study.

The exam today was for foundations of IR which I only needed 10% from the exam to pass the unit... I guess its called hard work all through out the semester, but anyway I was a pretty alright exam ... if you studied... which I kinda neglected to do. Don't get me wrong I am not a slacker but I just could not get motivated. IR for me is one of those minimal effort maximum output type units and I had something to write for in each section so hopefully I did Ok.. But one never knows after moderation and scaling. This would be my 4th exam which leaves me with one more to comtemplate.. the dreaded ITF (Intro to finance)- or for me Intro To Failing. Honestly I wonder WHY am I even trying to do finance?? It's my worse unit and its the one I placed the most effort in. I actually stayed up-to-date and even then I went to all the lectures and did all the tutes.. although there was an ulterior motive there.... which I must say has been sidetracked and killed - I've given up hope on that situation guys!!
So what to do? Put in a hard day and nights worth of study I suppose..... but even then will I be able to bounce back and do well??

Overall though I have to say I've been more relaxed about these exams - even with the taxing timetable and the lack of sleep I've been having as well as bad skin and lack of motivation. I think I'm more prepared + I haven't needed super marks to pass any of my units - which is a godsend!
OK so enough about ms academic.... other stuff

The looming holiday period or lack there of.... I think I'm more stressed about how I'm gonna fit everything in as well as get a goods night rest. The 24th of June - the last day of exams for everyone... and its going to kill me. Its one of my closest uni friends birthdays, one of my closest guy friends birthday, an ol school mates birthday and my friend is leaving and having a going away party. Why is it that every weekend of the semester when I'm free ( as yes there are times when I'm free) no one plans to do anything and as soon as exams come around I have to decide between all my friends??? HOW IS THIS FAIR??? the problem is I've already said I'll go to my friends going away party because she invited me before anyone else and now I honestly dont know what to do. The going away party is such a small group and I would love to make an apperance at all 4 places but I can't drive... (which is on the to do list for the holidays - as well as catch up with everyone)

I cant choose what I should or even want to do, because either way I know I'll disappoint someone. So don't kill me if I have to make hard choices.

In other news my head hurts because I've been thinking too much and for some strange reason I cant sleep.. brain keeps tick tick ticking so instead of getting my 4-5 hours of sleep I end up with even less. Maybe I need some of that red wine??

Anyways I think I've rambled enough for one night - man its good to have a blog again.. only this time people know about it so I cant express my feelings as openly.. but thats all part of the price huh??

Thats it from me,
Yours,
Puffaloonie


Red, red wine
Goes to my head
Makes me forget that I
Still need you so

Red, red wine
It`s up to you
All I can do, I`ve done
memories won`t go
memories won`t go

I have sworn that with time
Thoughts of you would leave my head
I was wrong now I find
Just one thing makes me forget
~ UB40 - Red Red Wine~

Hey everyone.....

Yet again, I am back into the blogging world - actually this is just a means of procrastionation....

Those of you who knew about my old blog... welcome back to my life, I hope you enjoy the little happenings, my murmers and my quirks. For those new comers, welcome to my life, and my world and for those of you who knew I had a blog but never ventured into my little world welcome.

I should be studying right about now.. but I decided to set this all up instead, something bout excellent time management.

For now I just wanna say hi and thanks for popin by.... and enjoy the journey that is my live.

Yours,
Puffy

Hey They feels like we've having
The time of our lives
Let's light the fire, find the pain
Let's come together as one inside
'Cause it feels like we've having
The time of our lives
We'll find the glory 
All that we are, for all that we are
For the time of our lives
~ Il Divo ft Toni Braxton - Time of our lives~
Fifa world cup anthem